Posted in comedy, humor, humour, writing

So, Where Do We Go From Here? [a blog] #newfiction #irishauthor #indiepublishing


Greetings, hoi polloi. I write this at you, in a non-aggressive manner, from the carpeted floor of the house I don’t technically live in, because I’m still waiting for Joel Silver to ring with that five-movie deal to make me rich enough to buy my own carpet. My mobile phone says ‘No Service’ at the moment though, so that’s probably what’s wrong there.

I’ve just finished a 5 day promo on an older book, from 2013 (aren’t they all? I hear you shout, incorrectly), and it surprised me by shifting a shitload of copies, and fondling the top five in its own specific category in the UK, and going top twenty in Horror category worldwide. I even got a new review. And it was a glowing one which, if you’re familiar at all with the polarising public reaction to Girl Afraid over the years, is a right fucking coin-toss and no mistake.

It’s odd, being back in the game after so long out, and getting used to the feedback, the praise, the criticism, the hand-jobs in train station toilets, etc. It’s hard to explain how different it is to go from being someone who’s bashed out a few books in the distant past, to someone who’s publishing again, writing again, and who can finally answer the question ‘Can I get your books in paperback?’ with ‘Yes. Yes you can. Now take your hand off my leg, sir. You’re almost touching my phallus.’

I’ve always said that the thing about being a novelist that’s different from any other job is the fact that all of your perceived failures in the rest of your life are not actually wasted efforts. Every one of them can probably be turned into a scene somewhere, a character somewhere else. It’s literally all material. And, when I read my own books, I can definitely tell the difference between “That happened!” and “I made that shit up”, because the former always has more depth and authenticity to it. Your mileage may vary, of course, but then you really should be measuring distance in kilometers, you bloody racist.

Has Sweetness Follows gone down well? I reckon so, but a few more reviews wouldn’t hurt, if you’re listening, kids. My priority isn’t that at the minute though. It’s finishing book three, so that we have a trilogy for people to start, cos you know people, they like… well… they like trilogies? I haven’t done the research. There’s a chance that something non-Boys of Summery may drop as well, either at the same time (February) or a little after, so if you liked Girl Afraid, but you’re not too keen on the Paddy McNostalgia series, that’s a bit of good news for you. If you are the opposite, move right along, because if you though GA was a little hard to stomach, this other one is gonna turn your colon inside out, paint it with iodine, and stamp on it with golf shoes made out of lava. An acquired taste, if you will.

Okay, that’s all from West Towers for today. Click a link, read a sample, buy a book, write a review, save a life, adopt a monkey.



Self proclaimed author, cynic, saviour of humanity.

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