Posted in comedy, humor, humour, Uncategorized, writing

Worst. Blog. Ever.

I think I might have a cover! I probably don’t, though. I have no idea what people used to do for feedback back in The Days Before Social Networking, and quite frankly I don’t care. I’m uncaring like that; bitches love it. Nowadays, we like to Crowdsource. If you don’t know what crowdsourcing is, I don’t care. See above.

Asking people you know on the internet for a sincere opinion is sort of like asking a goat to have oral sex with you. I’m not sure how that metaphor works, but it probably has something to do with goats eating anything. Or the fact that all goats are whores. It’s, as my American pals like to say, a process. The book cover I started with bears no resemblance to the one I ended up with, but boy we had some laughs. Also, I learned that my girlfriend is quite possibly never satisfied. Something my penis could have told me ages ago.

I’m doing all the graphic design myself, although I have no experience at it. I mean, yeah, I did go to Art College. Who actually learns anything in Art College, though? All I did was drink, do drugs, and have sex with 17 year old girls. I only showed up for half the lectures, never completed anything on time, and one time I actually did a drunken shit in the bathroom sink. No wonder they fired me from my teaching post.

Thank you; I’m here, all weak.

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Self proclaimed author, cynic, saviour of humanity.

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