Posted in comedy, humor, humour, Uncategorized, writing

Welcome To The Sado Masochism Chatroom. Abusive Behaviour Will Not Be Tolerated

Networking! That’s what it’s all about, isn’t it? I joined LinkedIn yesterday, as you had to be a member in order to read some interesting discussion that my girlfriend and Life Partner had emailed to me. She writes and edits books for a living, and has the greatest arse of all time. Both of these things are quite useful.

I normally shy away from networking, or from writers in general. There are many reasons for this. One of the main ones is that people who want to be writers, but aren’t, tend to be humourless, bitter cunts who blame everyone else but themselves for their lack of success.Not to be confused with me, who’s a humorous, bitter cunt who blames himself for pretty much everything.

There were some helpful insights in the LinkedIn groups, but yeah: I did have to sift through acres of pissy, sarky twats who seemed to think that the entire publishing industry was conspiring against them, so that their amazing paranormal romance about gay werewolves didn’t get put on the Best Seller list. At no stage does the notion ‘Maybe I’m just shit?’ ever enter these people’s minds. No, it’s the agents’ faults. Those agents, always trying to pick books that will make money! Grrrr! They must HATE art.

This phenomenon isn’t about writers, though. No matter what it is people like to do, or do for work; if you put a bunch of them together in a room or on an internet forum, a hierarchy will develop, and people will take on various roles. Think of it like Prison, but with less anal rape. There will always be the Wonderful People, whom you feel honoured to meet. These will be few. There will be some harmless types, who contribute nothing but the occasional LOL or smiley faces. These seem a little annoying, until you meet:

The Cunts.  These make up 60% of the internet, and 95% of Youtube’s comment section. They have no idea what they’re talking about; but, instead of dissuading them from entering a debate, it seems to spur them on. They argue the person; not the point, because they never have a point. 100% of them are men, and their penises are between two and four inches, erect. Collectively. They exist everywhere, although On The Interwebs is where they really shine. This is mainly because when someone can’t see that your face looks like a salmon’s vulva, it’s easier to pretend that you have a superiority complex.

And yes, I am speaking from experience.

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Author:

Self proclaimed author, cynic, saviour of humanity.

6 thoughts on “Welcome To The Sado Masochism Chatroom. Abusive Behaviour Will Not Be Tolerated

    1. You seem a little off your meds today, Precious. Sometimes this happens, when you take everything at face value. Which is never a good idea when reading my things.

  1. If Twilight fanfiction with the names changed can become a best selling trilogy and upcoming movie, I think gay werewolf romance has a pretty good chance at making it too.

    Which makes me sad inside.

    Thanks for that.

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