Posted in comedy, humor, humour, Uncategorized, writing

How Not To Cure Writer’s Block

Writer’s block is one of those stupid fucking First World, White People problems that doesn’t actually exist, like Tennis Elbow, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, or Leukaemia. Whenever I hear anyone complaining about it, I silently wish them dead.

Until it’s happening to me, of course. Then, I’m all like WHERE’S MY CONCERT, BOB GELDOF? I had the blockage for an entire seven days recently, but I overcame it. That’s why I’m here today; to unveil the mystery of How To Cure Writer’s Block.

First though, lets cover the things that won’t cure your writer’s block-

Things That Won’t Cure Your Writer’s Block

– Staring at the wall
– Wanking
– Getting angry at young people’s haircuts
– Eating nine Twix biscuit fingers in one sitting
– Thinking about how unfair life is
– Experimenting with Cross-Dressing
– Hating Michael McIntyre
– Taking supplements from Holland & Barrett
– Thinking how shit TV comedy is, and how you could write it better
– Having a man-crush on Jon Hamm
– Wondering what Will Smith is up to now
– More wanking
– 4chan
– Wanking to stuff you’ve seen on 4chan
– Hating everyone on your Facbook newsfeed
– Hating everyone
– Hating plant life
– Hating bacteria
– Hating inanimate objects
– Hating
– Hey! Stop wanking!
– Yoga
– Yoghurt
– Yo! MTV Raps
– Yoda
– The Marlon Brando film ‘The Score’
– Fozzy Bear
– That new Muppet song
– Internet articles on beating writer’s block
– Guar Gum
– Takeaways
– Dogging
– Methoextamine abuse

Things That Will Cure Your Writer’s Block

– Actually fucking writing

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Author:

Self proclaimed author, cynic, saviour of humanity.

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